Interview with Meaty by Nate Sherwood
N.S. - So Meaty, what's been cracking in your life as of late?
M.D. - Well, I've been dealing my new adopted little sister, Beefy, she is a pain in the ass at times but cool never the less.
N.S. - Why is she a pain in the ass?
M.D. - Well, first off, she gets all the attention every god damn time some human walks into the office. They pick her up and start talking about how cute she is and how much they love her as I am just sitting there like chopped liver with no pets or hugs and not even pat on the back.
N.S. - Damn Meaty, that sucks. What are some of the good things about having a little sister?
M.D. - Well, she bites peoples toes when there not rocking shoes, that is kind of amusing at times to see a human fucking jumping on one foot screaming cause Beefy dug her razor blade teeth into their toe.
N.S. - What else has been going on in Meaty land?
M.D. - Well, I cannot talk too much in depth about my current gig for I might breach my confidentiality agreement and that might piss off my dad Rob and my agent. I will say this though, the show is going to kick ass. I have seen some fun things go down with my eyes as well as some lame shit like dealing with your punk ass trying to talk to me in that high pitch whack ass voice.
N.S. - Sorry man, I just thought since dogs hear higher tones better it would be better if I spoke like beaker from the Muppets and you would be able to understand me more, sorry Meaty, I will buy you a beer or 2 for that.
M.D. - You were dead wrong man that shit just made me want to piss on your face when you were sleeping and bite your head off. I will take you up on that offer for the beer though. I am so over this water. I mean, I am a fucking British Bulldog man, I love to lift a fine Ale here and there but Rob wants me to stay fit so he only hooks me up with water and all this heath food crap like smoothies in wine bottles and shit. I told Rob, "Look man, if one worries about their health all their life, they forget to live," but he did not understand me cause it was in my native tongue known to you fuck nuts as rougher, but us K9's call it the true language. Anyway, how did you learn to speak it so well?
N.S. - Oh man, I've been stuck with dogs my whole life. Mostly because I would annoy and bug my relatives or friends to the point that they would stick me in the back yard with the dogs to hang all day. So I just picked it up you know. 
M.D. - Damn, that is harsh. How can you call somebody a friend if they did that to you?
N.S. - Good point Meaty. So I saw your new office and it looks way dope. Want to talk about it at all?
M.D. - Man, again I cannot say much but I will say this, it is plush and nice. The carpet, the red wood walls and the furniture are all top notch. The only thing that sucks is I am stuck in there most of the time with that shit factory known as Beefy, she shits haystacks man. That fucker is the reincarnation of GG Allen, I swear. She has no shame, she will just shit right in front of anybody. I hate how everybody thinks she is cute and all this shit but she is Satan, no joke man, that bitch fucking bites, tries to tackle my paws and makes it so damn hard for me hard to keep my gangster stroll on. And she tries to steal my chew toys and shit, she has no respect man.
N.S. - Are you the Rodney Dangerfield of the Dyrdek family?
M.D. - No man, I am alive, that dude is dead. Why you trying to jinx me man? Shut the fuck up and lets go get a beer. I know a dope spot by the Humane Society. We can go check and maybe after the bar we can go adopt a girlfriend for me, or a pit bull to beat the shit out of my little sister.
N.S. - Man that is not a nice thing to say about your sister. I am sure you were a pain in the ass as well when you were a puppy. Why all the hate?
M.D. - She took all my shine. She never gets shit for shitting. She gets hugs and kisses and she never gets blamed for shredding anything on the ground.
N.S. - Well, is she at fault for shredding stuff on the floor?
M.D. - No, but still man, that is not the point. She never can do any wrong and everybody loves her. It sucks.
N.S. - Hey man, I just realized I do not have 70 bucks to help you pick up a girlfriend from the pound. I think we might just have to get a beer or 2 and head back.
M.D. - No stress my friend. I have plenty of loot from my board sales. Lets do this, I will drive.
N.S. - No, fuck that! If I trust you driving we will end up chasing a squirrel and we might end up in the LA river or some shit. I will drive.
M.D. - Okay lets end this and bounce.
N.S. - Sounds good. Any shout outs?
M.D. - Yeah man, Rob for getting my ass out of AZ and teaching me how to shred, for being a great father and as much as I hate to admit it, getting me a little sister to chill with. Oh, Drama for helping me drop my first album, "Where is the Meat?" due out this summer so keep your eyes out on iTunes. I would like to give a big shout out to Scott, a.k.a. Big Cat, for holding it down and being a good friend. Peace
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